90 FUN THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR!

  1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
  2. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space".
  3. Grimace painfully while smacking you forehead and muttering: "Shut up, darn it! All of you just shut UP!"
  4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
  5. Sell Girl Scout Cookies.
  6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
  7. Shave.
  8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
  9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
  10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
  11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarassed when they open by themselves.
  12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
  13. Greet everyone on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
  14. One word: Flatulence!
  15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
  16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
  17. Stare, grinning at an other passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
  18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now -- motion sickness!"
  19. Give religious tracks to each passenger.
  20. Meow occasionally.
  21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
  22. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "Oops!"
  23. Show the other passengers a wound and ask if looks infected.
  24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
  25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
  26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
  27. Stare at another passenger for a while then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
  28. Burp and then say, "mmmm...tasty!"
  29. Leave a box between the doors.
  30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
  31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
  32. Start a sing-a-long.
  33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
  34. Play the harmonica.
  35. Shadow box.
  36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
  37. Lean against the button panel.
  38. Say, "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
  39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
  40. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
  41. Bring a chair along.
  42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
  43. Blow spit bubbles.
  44. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
  45. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
  46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
  47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
  48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
  49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
  50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!" 
  51. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
  52. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
  53. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
  54. Call a bondage 900 line from a cell phone.
  55. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for your friend, after awhile let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
  56. Cat basket and take a nap in the corner.
  57. Bounce a superball around the elevator.
  58. Light a cigarette and tell people "Smokey the Bear doesn't know what the hell he's talking about."
  59. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, scream "That's mine!"
  60. Stand in the corner, reading a telephone book, laughing uproariously.
  61. Bring a camera and take a picture of everyone in the elevator.
  62. Move your desk into the elevator and when ever someone gets on, ask if "they have an appointment."
  63. When the doors close, use duct tape and work furiously to tape the doors together. Ask for help.
  64. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they want to play.
  65. Bring a hammer and nails and hang pictures of yourself on the walls. Ask people, "Isn't that a good picture of me?"
  66. Leave your 12 foot long python alone in the elevator.
  67. Turn off the lights in the elevator to "conserving energy."
  68. Leave a box in the corner and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
  69. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
  70. Clean your gun.
  71. Ask, "Did you feel that, I felt a rumble?"
  72. Dressed in coveralls, get in a full elevator and when the door closes, push the stop button, post an out of order sign inside and go to work on the access panel, saying "This may take a minute."
  73. Push the call button, when the voice answers ask, "God?"
  74. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
  75. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open up again."
  76. Push your floor button with your tongue.
  77. Stand alone, when the doors open, tell anyone trying to get on that the car is full and that they should wait for the next one.
  78. Swat at flies that don't exist.
  79. Shoot rubber bands at everyone.
  80. When the doors open, pretend that you bounce off a force field when you try to leave.
  81. Ride Naked.
  82. When people get on, ask for their tickets and check that they meet the "height requirements."
  83. Push the top floor button, and announce that you tried to kill yourself yesterday, but the other building wasn't high enough.
  84. Talk to people about "the golden age of elevators in the 50s." Explain why modern elevators can't compete with "gas-powered lifts."
  85. Borrow small items from other people in the elevator, then shout "Weee!" as you drop them through the crack in the floor when the elevator doors open.
  86. Jump Rope.
  87. Bring a shovel and try to dig a hole.
  88. When the doors close, menacingly announce that "it's going to be a bumpy ride."
  89. Tell people that you can see their aura.
  90. Call out, "Group hug!" and enforce it.