it is very kind of you to consider writing an e-mail to me. Please read the following instructions carefully. It might save you some time.
Do not write me an e-mail to warn me about a computer virus that is sent around via e-mail with blah blah blah in its subject line. I use Unix and my e-mail client would not dare to execute any code attached to an e-mail. Hence those warnings do not apply to me. If they apply to you, you should reconsider the configuration of your system.
Moreover, it is generally a bad idea to send out those warnings unsolicited. People who want to know about those things can sign up for mailing lists. There is no need for you to spread the word. In addition, there is always the possibility that you are just instrumental in the nefarious plot of an internet hoax.
Do not send me an e-mail that is more than 1MB in size without request. Such practice is reckless and transport of the mail is not guaranteed since some servers do not allow for passage of ridiculously large e-mails. If you want me to get such long a file, put it somewhere on the world wide web and notify me via e-mail of its URL. I will download the file as soon as possible. If you are afraid that other people might read your file, please note:
If you are one of those who do not have a good e-mail client and must use Outlook, Internet Explorer or Netscape to write mails, be assured of my compassion. Nevertheless, turn off the HTML encoding!
Please, do not start your letter with something like ``Howdy'' unless you are a colleague or a friend of mine. As a European, I am not used to this degree of informality.
Never, never send me any kind of a chain letter. I will break the chain. I will use your e-mail address in newsgroups to make sure that you will receive lots of unsolicited spam. Your name will be added to my do-not-read list. My computer will send your future e-mails directly to /dev/null without even bothering to notify me. And you might receive a letter of complaint.
I am looking forward to reading your e-mail. Please understand that I change my public e-mail address every month because of spam. The general format is: "bux_mmm_yyyy at kubux dot net", where xxx is a three letter shorthand for the month and yyyy is the four digits of the current year.